Honeymoon Phase. "OMG!! Look at the TREES! KOREAN TREES! WOW, even their toilets are different! Check out all the lights! Noraebang, HELL YES!! This place is AWESOME!!!!!!!"
Negotiation Phase. "Ugh. Why can't my teachers just be upfront instead of speaking so ambiguously? How come no one actually PLANS AHEAD in this school? Why can't these scooters follow the damn traffic signals!"
Adjustment Phase. "Ah, you don't know the difference between annyonghi kaseyo and annyonghi kyeseyo? Tsk, tsk, newbie. You gotta get somewhere? I can tell you exactly how to take the bus, what to tell the taxi driver, and no fewer than three landmarks nearby. Dude, you just squat and pee, that's all there is to it..."
We talked about culture shock before I left for Greece, and we talked about culture shock after I arrived in Korea. Whether or not I truly felt it, I'm not sure. Yes, I've experienced all three emotions, but not at strong levels. When I get annoyed at something, it's not simply because it's different from America, but because it's annoying. If it happened to me in America, I would be just as annoyed.
There are supposedly three outcomes after the adjustment phase:
- "Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country's environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a ghetto and see return to their own culture as the only way out. These Rejectors also have the greatest problems re-integrating back home after return. Approximately 60% of expatriates behave in this way."
- "Some people integrate fully and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They normally remain in the host country forever. Approximately 10% of expatriates belong to this group of Adopters."
- "Some people manage to adapt the aspects of the host culture they see as positive, while keeping some of their own and creating their unique blend. They have no major problems returning home or relocating elsewhere. Approximately 30% of expatriates are these so-called Cosmopolitans."
I don't like to categorize myself or generalize my experience, but I can safely say that I am neither a rejector nor an adopter. I am not yet sure if I am a cosmopolitan. However, one thing I've noticed about my relationship with Korea, is that I am extremely patient with it. Where some native teachers would complain about bureaucracy and the constant changes in our contracts, I passively wait for them to sort it out, and go from there. I'll say it again, I passively wait. I don't remember being this passive before, ever in my life (Okay, maybe when I was younger, but definitely not when I was in college). Maybe it's because I am strikingly aware that we are guests in this country, that we have no right to demand anything from it, or to declare that we deserve something simply because we are "better." I sympathize with my co-teachers, who have to deal with us, and have so much requested of them from higher authorities; people who don't know what it takes to control a classroom.
Not that I don't still get annoyed, which I do. But I am actively trying to find a compromise. Instead of bitching and moaning about something, I try to find a way to move forward and still be happy.
When people complain about something authentically "Korean," I think, "this is the way it is, there's no point in arguing about it." Life is life no matter what country you live in, and just because you're "Western" and feel worshipped by your school and the government, doesn't mean that you have the right to say what should and shouldn't happen in a country that's not yours.
Do these opinions make me an adopter? or a cosmopolitan? Either way, I am continuing to feel lucky for this opportunity to immerse myself in a country that is not my own, to see that while some things change from culture to culture, other things are true no matter where you are. Let's revel in our differences, be happy that they exist, and try to value each other for it.
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